This semester while I work on my master’s degree in Organizational Leadership I have the opportunity to work on a project and then implement the project during my two week stay in Rwanda. Sean was adamantly against me going in the beginning as fears crept in about my safety and having to raise our three children alone. Since we have had children, I have never ventured far from home without my husband by my side. It took a solid week and much prayer for my husband to be in agreement with me venturing off to Africa without him.



Not much thought has been put into my departure until this past week when the trip dates where finalized. Fear has flooded my husband, and to be honest, I have had my own fair share of anxiety and panic attacks. My worst fear is not returning home for my children. When I asked my husband what he was afraid of, this was the text message that I received:

“Perhaps the worst question ever. You dying/disappearing/gettinghurt/hostage/lost/eaten/
dismembered/disemboweled/sick/ill/diseased/beaten/raped/hunted/parted out/taken/made lion food/cannibal food/caught in a genocide/stolen by Algerians/placed into prostitution by Algerians/and all of the normal things associated with attractive females and foreign countries.”

I couldn’t help but laugh especially about getting eaten by a lion; however, his response and other conversations that we have had since we made the decision for me to go really got me to thinking about how sheltered and fearful we can tend to live out our lives. In reality, anything can happen to us at any point throughout the day. We could be hit by a car, contract a deadly disease, get eaten by a bear (I do live in Colorado now), get shot by someone we know or by a random person, die in a fire, have a heart attack, and the list could go on. When our time comes, our time comes. If we really believe that God is in control then we truly have nothing to fear. And when our time does come, we can be confident of our life with Him and that He will take care of our loved ones.

So my choice could be to think that I am safer here just because I am in America. Stay. Keep doing the same things that I normally do wishing that I was doing something greater but being prohibited by fear. Or….I could forget my dream where my plane crashed into the depths of the Atlantic ocean and my body sank to the parts of the ocean that were too deep for anyone to find me. I could instead remind myself that God holds me in the palm of His hand. I could remind myself that I belong to Him and that I am deeply treasured by Him. Surely if he could close the mouths of the lions in the den that Daniel was thrown into then He could also close the mouths of the lions in Africa!

If fear was allowed to prevail, God could not work in and through me. I am excited to document this journey. God is already stirring some ideas, and I know some lives will be touched in the process. Undoubtedly, mine.