Knowing him and Him

A few days ago, I was reflecting on a pivotal situation in our lives.  I say pivotal because this situation had to happen to shift our thinking into the possibility of moving to Africa.  My husband had a really good job making more than he had ever made before.  Three months ago, he was fired.  To make a long, complicated story very short, he was accused of quite a few sexual advances towards a female subordinate (some a bit outlandish) and was accused of plotting to leave me for her.  How did this affect me? I was overjoyed!!!!  Why?  Because my husband was no longer working a job that drained him and kept him away for so long.  Because this occurrence meant that God had to be moving us into a new stage.  And because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the allegations made against my husband were false.  How did I know this?  Because my husband and I know each other on an intimate level.  We have always put a big emphasis on communication and have even talk through uncomfortable situations and scenarios in a "what if" kind of way.  Our neighbor, who worked for my husband, told Sean that we must have a good relationship because his wife would have left him following such accusations. 

My reflections began to draw a comparison.  If knowing my husband so intimately...his character, the way he makes decisions, his values, what he things and feels about me, what he thinks about extramarital affairs, what he thinks about divorce, and so on....allows me to really know him to the point that I have a foundation and a truth about him in which I am able to make sound judgements about him and his character, how much more does an intimate relationship with Jesus allow us to stand firm on who He is, how He feels about us, and how we feel about Him.  When our feelings, thoughts, and what we accept to be truth are based on the written Word of God and our interactions with Christ on an intimate personal level, we will not be shaken but stand firm in our relationship.  When accusations are made against Christ, we can cast them down because we intimately know who He is.  Our faith is built when we know Him intimately by when we hear, meditating on, and studying his Words:  "faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ." (Romans 10:17) 

Now if I only knew about my husband from what others said about him and I did not know him intimately, I might have a hard time believing his innocence.  My belief in his innocence would depend on the perceptions of what others had told me about him.  My belief in his innocence would be based off of others opinions and interactions with him.  I would not have that intimate knowledge of him.  I believe that the same is true with my relationship with Christ.  Without the intimate knowledge of scripture, my time spent meditating on the Word of God, my times of conversation with Him, and my times of worship and prayer, I would not have a relationship with Christ; therefore, if I claimed any relationship with Him then it would be based off the the relationship that another had with Him.  A good example would be going to church and only listening to what the preacher said and taking every word that is said as truth and never going and weighing what is said against the Word of God.  In this scenario the "relationship with Christ" is based off of the experiences and relationship of the preacher not a personal intimate relationship created from seeking Him and knowing Him intimately through His Word.  I believe that many have been lead astray throughout history because people did not have that intimately relationship, took what was told to them by others as truth because they did not have a foundation of their own based off of the Bible, and was lead astray by false beliefs and notions. 

I encourage you today to know Christ intimately...to know Him for yourself.....to keep your eyes fixed on Him, and then watch how your life is transformed by this intimate knowledge of Him.

Preparing us for Purpose

I am beginning to see the tangible benefits of seeking direction from the Lord and resting, trusting that He is working behind the scenes getting me to where He needs me to be.  Being in the midst of a culture like ours where there is an expectation to have goals and life plans, waiting for the Lord's direction is a difficult task.  I don't mean just saying that you are waiting.  I mean not making a move until you are clear of the direction.  This does not include being stagnant out of fear but being still out of an obedience and deep desire to truly walk out the will of God in your life. 

Looking back now, I can see all of the preparations that God was making in an effort to prepare me for the call that He has for me in this life.  I went from running a school and not truly understanding how to follow the leading of God's peace in decision making to two years of isolated training in allowing God to really lead me.  My training period had to include the isolation of not being involved in anything for me to really grasp what was being taught.  My personality causes me to get caught up in the doing; this "doing" has at times caused me lack the patience needed to wait on God for every step...and perhaps, I really didn't know how to wait on every step.  But God is faithful in that when we can identify an area within ourselves that needs improvement and we ask for Him to teach us His ways, He is faithful in teaching us.  This process may be painful, and it may look illogical to the outside world.  However, God knows what He's doing.  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). 

I believe that God is always preparing us for a greater calling in life.  Some step up to that calling; some do not.  Where ever God has you right now, you are being prepared for a kingdom purpose.  Your life has purpose.  You may not see but God promises that He makes a road in the wilderness and streams in the desert (Isaiah 43:19).  You may not feel like you measure up to the others around you because our culture has you standing next to a measuring stick, but God does not look at the things of this world.  "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at....God looks at the heart," (1 Samuel 16:7).  I read a devotional by Beth Moore.  She stated that many preach that God chose David as King despite his lowly stature as a shepherd.  However, her perspective was that God chose David from the beginning and his life as a shepherd prepared him for the greater task of shepherding God's people as King:  "He chose David his servant and took him from the sheep pens; from tending the sheep he brought him to be the shepherd of his people Jacob, of Israel his inheritance, and David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them," (Psalm 78:70-72).  Those skillful hands came from experiences.  God knows how to shape us when we are submissive and obedient to His will. 

Life may not look like it makes sense for a while.  Perhaps after being annointed King of Israel, David wondered how he would go from shepherd to king.  I know many (including myself a few years ago) who would start strategizing and contriving ways to get themselves into the position of King.  However, truly waiting on God is waiting for His perfect timing in causing all things to work together effortlessly and undeniably by the hand of God.

Running for My Life (and the life of all the girls on the streets)...

"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!" Luke 1:45

This morning, I woke up from a panic-stricken dream.  At the beginning of my dream, I had to get back to Rwanda; there was a sense of urgency, but I do not know why.  We didn't have the money to send me back; however, I went to the airport anyways.  Somehow, I was able to board a flight with no plane ticket or passport.  The next thing that I know is that I am sitting in a woman's car.  I apparently trusted this woman as there was a calmness about the ride.  She was suppose to be taking me to the airport in Kigali to fly back home.  I told her that I was hoping that I could get back home as I had no ticket or passport.  She passed the airport, and as she was pulling up to a car (and a sense of panic started to rise up in me), she told me that she had some work that she wanted me to do for her cousin.  As I looked over, I saw a man who looked like trouble.  I punched the lady in the face (maybe my TaeKwonDo side coming out :) ), got out of the car, and ran for my life.  Then, I woke up.

The "running for my life" dreams are nothing new.  Although, they used to consist of me continuously running from my Step-father in my dreams.  I haven't had one of those dreams in many years.  They were exhausting as I ran and ran for what seemed like all night long...jumping over fences, hiding out in people's back yards.  However, this morning when I woke up, I didn't have a panic for myself but a panic for the all the girls currently living on the streets of Rwanda who are experiencing this same type of fear as I type.  I imagine that they feel trapped by their situations and circumstances just as I did all those years ago.  The difference was that I had a hope.  I had a promise of hope of a better life, a redeemed life that only Christ can offer. 

There is an urgency in me to get back to Rwanda.  An urgency to pull these girls off the streets and share this hope with them.  An urgency to share with them the love that Jesus has deposited in me.  To share the truth that God is love and that there is no fear in love because perfect love DRIVES OUT fear (1 John 4:16-18).  God's timing is always perfect, and I can rest in knowing that he is working behind the scenes preparing hearts for the work of the village and I Will Stand, Intl.  Please join me praying for all that will need to be done for these girls and pray for their protection right now.