It seems like forever since I have sat in this chair and my fingers have pressed the keys of this keyboard in an effort to try and put words to everything that God is stirring inside of me. I have been asking for a deeper revelation of what it means to “wait at the feet of Jesus.” God showed me something this morning that I couldn’t wait to share.
Sean and I are at a pretty important crossroad in our life: determining where Sean should go to law school. The processes haven’t been finished; therefore, he hasn’t received any official offers, but we both know that the time is coming soon. Our deepest desire is to go where God would have us to go. But how do he know exactly, for sure, without a doubt that we are going where He wants us to go and making the very best possible decision???
I was in the shower this morning (just about the only alone time that I get alone with 3 kids) and was talking and singing to God. I ended up face down in the shower asking God for direction. Thoughts of waiting at the feet of Jesus began to float around my head, and I started to ponder that. Then as vividly as if I was literally back in the days of children’s ministry, God brought to my remembrance a little boy named Darian.
January of 2005, I had accepted the role of Children’s Director at a small church in McKinney. It was my first official role in ministry, and I was excited! The church had been looking and praying for someone to fill this role for quite some time. I had absolutely no desire to do it until I very clearly felt God tell me at a funeral in North Carolina that I was suppose to take the position. After we got back to Texas, I didn’t say anything for a few months because I wanted to make sure that it was what I was suppose to do. After much prayer and thought, I felt the timing was right. I grew up in a Baptist church and learned a wealth of information about the Bible; however, I was never really taught that there was so much more to being a Christian than just knowing bible stories and obeying God’s laws. My desire was for these children to KNOW that God was a God that wanted to interact with them on a daily basis. I wanted them to walk daily in the power of God. I was told about an incredible church in Kansas City called
The International House of Prayer by the mother of one of the children.
The McKinney Church paid for me to attend the Children’s Summit that they were offering and off to Kansas City I went. I was amazed the entire time that I was there! These children where healing the sick and prophesying in the name of Jesus. They were intimately and passionately worshipping Jesus with instruments, their hands raised, on their knees, and even some flat on their face. I was fascinated! Most kids that I had seen in children’s church had a hard time even listening to a bible story. The difference? The kids weren’t just read bible stories in Sunday School; they were being introduced to the person of Jesus and their lives were being radically changed. The outpouring of this encounter was genuine worship of their King. During the summit, they were very careful not to give us specific “exercises” to do with the kids as (I understand why now although I didn’t at the time) they wanted every interaction to stem from an encounter with Jesus and us seeking Jesus for direction. I and every other person there wanted something tangible to encourage our kids to respond in this manner. Then in one of the sessions the Children’s Director’s wife described an “exercise” in obedience and patiently waiting for the voice of God. Again, I was fascinated and couldn’t wait to get back and try it.
God had told her to take a few envelopes and scatter them around the sanctuary hidden. During service, she was to take a few kids to the door of the sanctuary have them pray for God to reveal to them where an envelope was and then go and get the envelope. She was a bit nervous on several accounts but obeyed. The kids found the envelopes, and she was amazed! I wanted my kids to do this too!
During a Sunday night service, I gathered my kids, about 12 or so, and explained the goal. I didn’t take them into the sanctuary, but did hide an envelop with a scripture inside somewhere in the children’s wing. The children took off. When I said go, it was a mad dash of slamming cabinets and drawers until one kid opened the right drawer and found the envelope. I was a bit disappointed as I knew it wasn’t the result of hearing the voice of God. I decided to try again the next week.
The next week came and I made sure that there was NO WAY that they would accidentally stumble across the envelope. I explained the goal again and really stressed the fact that the only way they were going to find this envelope was by seeking the voice of God for guidance and direction. We set up our main room as a prayer room with worship music. I encouraged them to seek God’s voice and then obey it. I told them that God would guide them. When I released them, it was again a mad dash through the cabinets and drawers, in the closets, and in all the nooks and crannies that they could find. After about an hour, the kids started to get frustrated. I assured them that there really was an envelope hidden. During that hour, Tracey, my helper, and I were amazed at all the “spiritual things” that were going on. There were some kids who were trying to do it in their own strength and find it on their own. There were some kids who grouped together to try and pray together in one of the classrooms, but there were other kids there who were side-tracking them and causing them to become distracted from their assignment. There were some who seemed to get the right idea, but then would lose patience and try something else. It seemed that the hardest thing to get them to do was to pray and just wait for an answer.
We walked back into the prayer room and saw little Darian sitting all alone praying. Now Darian was probably about five and probably the one that we expected the least to find the envelope. He was very boy and, in our opinion, hardly had enough patience to sit in his seat much less wait on the voice of God. That day, he proved us wrong!
Darian stood up and started walking down the hall. We shrugged and decided to follow him wondering if we ought to stop the exercise for the evening as it seemed we were losing some of the kids. Then, Darian told me that he saw some yellow arrows, I didn’t really know what to say, but he seemed very intent so I just told him to follow them. He walked up and down the hall, walked into a room, shook his head, and then walked back out. He walked back up the hall and into the first room. I looked and Tracy and smiled….I knew he had it, and I could hardly contain myself. He was very intentional with everything that he did. He circled the room a few times and I asked him what he was seeing. He said that he was seeing a bunch of colors: beiges and browns. I looked at the poster on the back of the door…the poster that the envelope was stuck behind and saw all the little boys and girls outstretched holding hands each having a different skin color, a variation of beige or brown. I realized that the poster was pretty high and wasn’t in Darian’s line of site. After a few more little clues that he pieced together, he looked straight at the poster and a look of excitement washed over his face. He grabbed a chair, pulled the poster back, and revealed the hidden envelope behind it. It was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!
There were many other life lessons that I learned as result of this experience, but they will have to be saved for another time.
When I wondered about direction in our life and wondered about what it really meant to wait at the feet of Jesus, I was answered by the image of little Darian waiting patiently in the prayer room all by himself. He didn’t leave until He heard the voice of God concerning that which He was seeking. Sometimes, like the other children, we just don’t wait quite long enough to hear that still small voice. Sometimes if we just linger a little bit longer…lean on him just a little more…soak in his presence a little more often, then we are positioned in just the right place to receive what He is trying to get to us. For His desire is for us to walk in complete victory and prosperity AND He is willing to guide us to it, as long as we are willing to listen and receive. Our God is a God of relationship and high on His priority list is intimate interaction with you. He is waiting for you to seek Him and He is eager to respond.
I have so much to share and so much glory to give to God for the work that He has done and is doing in our life. I will eventually share our journey from Texas to Colorado, but at the moment, I will save that story for another time. The adventure with God has me longing for another adventure. The adventure over the past 1 1/2 years has created a curiosity in me that continually asks, “God, how far will you allow me to go? How dependent can I really be? How wrapped up in you can I really get?” 
