I am finally down to 7 days until I land in Africa....5 days until I fly to Washington, D.C. Wow! I started to get butterflies in my tummy as I typed the 5 days. There has been such an excitement and hopeful anticipation surrounding me this week as I look forward to all that God will do during my 2 week stay in Rwanda.
My husband is a little...well, alot...nervous about me leaving. I find it a little amusing to be on this side of the emotions. Typically, he is the one leaving, and I am left wondering if I can manage as a single parent for the duration of his trip.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
The Love of God Revealed
March 9, 2012
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16&17
Standing in my kitchen yesterday, God began to reveal to me how deep his love is for mankind. I think that sometimes the depth and complexity of God can only be revealed through deep pain. My husband has been under severe attack this week. He was terminated at work under false and outlandish accusations. A former employee told him this week that based off of his observations this week that it looks like my husband was set up. As I was dealing with the raw emotion of rage that my husband was plotted against, unjustly accused, and had no chance to defend himself, God reminded me of Christ and that he too was plotted against, falsely accused, beaten, and killed. For our sake, he did not defend himself but instead became a sacrifice for us so that we could once again be reconciled to God. That is love!
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16&17
Standing in my kitchen yesterday, God began to reveal to me how deep his love is for mankind. I think that sometimes the depth and complexity of God can only be revealed through deep pain. My husband has been under severe attack this week. He was terminated at work under false and outlandish accusations. A former employee told him this week that based off of his observations this week that it looks like my husband was set up. As I was dealing with the raw emotion of rage that my husband was plotted against, unjustly accused, and had no chance to defend himself, God reminded me of Christ and that he too was plotted against, falsely accused, beaten, and killed. For our sake, he did not defend himself but instead became a sacrifice for us so that we could once again be reconciled to God. That is love!
On an Adventure Again...
March 6, 2012
Before I begin, I want to share a post that I started on February 18, 2012. I stopped writing it for several reasons, but mostly because I was trying not to focus on the stirrings of the post but on our then current life:
“I am sitting here in front of this keyboard with many answered prayers yet my heart is not at rest. During a time of no job and not much stability, we prayed for exactly that….a job and stability. I sit here fully blessed in a beautiful home, bills paid early, pantry full of food, a stockpile of extra food in the basement, health insurance, and a nice size paycheck from my husband’s new company. What do I really long for? The life of constantly clinging to Him for every need; knowing that his answer is just around the corner.
Before I begin, I want to share a post that I started on February 18, 2012. I stopped writing it for several reasons, but mostly because I was trying not to focus on the stirrings of the post but on our then current life:
“I am sitting here in front of this keyboard with many answered prayers yet my heart is not at rest. During a time of no job and not much stability, we prayed for exactly that….a job and stability. I sit here fully blessed in a beautiful home, bills paid early, pantry full of food, a stockpile of extra food in the basement, health insurance, and a nice size paycheck from my husband’s new company. What do I really long for? The life of constantly clinging to Him for every need; knowing that his answer is just around the corner.
Preparing for Africa
January 29, 2012
This semester while I work on my master’s degree in Organizational Leadership I have the opportunity to work on a project and then implement the project during my two week stay in Rwanda. Sean was adamantly against me going in the beginning as fears crept in about my safety and having to raise our three children alone. Since we have had children, I have never ventured far from home without my husband by my side. It took a solid week and much prayer for my husband to be in agreement with me venturing off to Africa without him.
This semester while I work on my master’s degree in Organizational Leadership I have the opportunity to work on a project and then implement the project during my two week stay in Rwanda. Sean was adamantly against me going in the beginning as fears crept in about my safety and having to raise our three children alone. Since we have had children, I have never ventured far from home without my husband by my side. It took a solid week and much prayer for my husband to be in agreement with me venturing off to Africa without him.
A Whole New Life
January 14, 2012
So much time has passed since the last time I blogged and so much has changed in my life as well. Sitting down to write was once a task that I thought was next to impossible with 3 children who are around me continually and constantly needing my attention. However, I completed my first semester of graduate school a few weeks ago and was amazed that not only was I capable of making the time to write (a requirement of my program,) but I now am actually longing for the next paper that must be written. This desire has led me back to this much neglected blog.
I will work on being more disciplined blogging.
I have so much to share and so much glory to give to God for the work that He has done and is doing in our life. I will eventually share our journey from Texas to Colorado, but at the moment, I will save that story for another time. The adventure with God has me longing for another adventure. The adventure over the past 1 1/2 years has created a curiosity in me that continually asks, “God, how far will you allow me to go? How dependent can I really be? How wrapped up in you can I really get?”
So much time has passed since the last time I blogged and so much has changed in my life as well. Sitting down to write was once a task that I thought was next to impossible with 3 children who are around me continually and constantly needing my attention. However, I completed my first semester of graduate school a few weeks ago and was amazed that not only was I capable of making the time to write (a requirement of my program,) but I now am actually longing for the next paper that must be written. This desire has led me back to this much neglected blog.
I will work on being more disciplined blogging.
I have so much to share and so much glory to give to God for the work that He has done and is doing in our life. I will eventually share our journey from Texas to Colorado, but at the moment, I will save that story for another time. The adventure with God has me longing for another adventure. The adventure over the past 1 1/2 years has created a curiosity in me that continually asks, “God, how far will you allow me to go? How dependent can I really be? How wrapped up in you can I really get?” Freedom from Everything
January 14, 2012
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1
Are you burdened by a yoke of slavery? Many of us do not even realize that we are. We tend to think that if we are not ruled by alcohol, drugs, etc. that we are fine….at least I did. I have never known the kind of freedom that God has been revealing to me this past year.
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1
Are you burdened by a yoke of slavery? Many of us do not even realize that we are. We tend to think that if we are not ruled by alcohol, drugs, etc. that we are fine….at least I did. I have never known the kind of freedom that God has been revealing to me this past year.
Resting in Him
May 15, 2011
“There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from His. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their (the Israelites who wandered in the desert for 40 years) example of disobedience.” Hebrews 4:9-11
Rest is really a word that has been very foreign to me. I would have considered resting the time that I was sleeping at night. I have always felt that there has been a never-ending list of things that needed to be accomplished and then adding 3 kids to the mix…who has time to rest??? God has been revealing to me what rest really means and the importance of resting in Him. He has been training me to rest.
“There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from His. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their (the Israelites who wandered in the desert for 40 years) example of disobedience.” Hebrews 4:9-11
Rest is really a word that has been very foreign to me. I would have considered resting the time that I was sleeping at night. I have always felt that there has been a never-ending list of things that needed to be accomplished and then adding 3 kids to the mix…who has time to rest??? God has been revealing to me what rest really means and the importance of resting in Him. He has been training me to rest.
The Best Gift a Mother Can Give
May 8, 2011
I had the privilege Friday night to speak at the Declaring War Women’s Retreat – The Heart of A Mother in McKinney. I have put a lot of thought into what really makes a bond between a mother and her children so special. The past 8 months have served as a transitional time for my family which has given me much opportunity to evaluate different areas of my life in relation to the Word of God.
God’s ultimate desire is for us to engage in a relationship with Him. Out of our intimate connection with Him flows all of the abundance and peace that we so desire, crave, and need in life. I have noticed that a lot of Christians, including myself earlier in life, spend the majority of their time trying to live according to His laws and being obedient to His Word. However, as I have experienced, this leaves us feeling defeated as we are only human and are never able to fully live up to His standards. We end up living life feeling like we are constantly missing the mark. God knew this would happen. He introduced His laws to show us our need for a Savior. The birth and death of Jesus opened up the opportunity for us once again to be in relationship with God on an intimate level…no longer did we have to go through a priest. We have full access to Him whenever and where ever we want it.
My desire has always been to be the very best mother that I could be for my three children. I tried my best to protect them from all dangers, feed them, clothe them, discipline them, instill good manners, and initiate and foster a relationship with God. When we needed extra income, I did everything in my power to find ways of making income while still being at home with them. When it came time for school, I started a preschool and then a private school to keep that connection with them (among many other reasons). When we moved away from the town that the school was started in, I homeschooled them even though we had no source of income (Sean was in college full time) so that I was still near to them. I put all of my faith in God for His provision. I value the closeness and am willing to sacrifice what I need to sacrifice for it.
I had the privilege Friday night to speak at the Declaring War Women’s Retreat – The Heart of A Mother in McKinney. I have put a lot of thought into what really makes a bond between a mother and her children so special. The past 8 months have served as a transitional time for my family which has given me much opportunity to evaluate different areas of my life in relation to the Word of God.
God’s ultimate desire is for us to engage in a relationship with Him. Out of our intimate connection with Him flows all of the abundance and peace that we so desire, crave, and need in life. I have noticed that a lot of Christians, including myself earlier in life, spend the majority of their time trying to live according to His laws and being obedient to His Word. However, as I have experienced, this leaves us feeling defeated as we are only human and are never able to fully live up to His standards. We end up living life feeling like we are constantly missing the mark. God knew this would happen. He introduced His laws to show us our need for a Savior. The birth and death of Jesus opened up the opportunity for us once again to be in relationship with God on an intimate level…no longer did we have to go through a priest. We have full access to Him whenever and where ever we want it.
My desire has always been to be the very best mother that I could be for my three children. I tried my best to protect them from all dangers, feed them, clothe them, discipline them, instill good manners, and initiate and foster a relationship with God. When we needed extra income, I did everything in my power to find ways of making income while still being at home with them. When it came time for school, I started a preschool and then a private school to keep that connection with them (among many other reasons). When we moved away from the town that the school was started in, I homeschooled them even though we had no source of income (Sean was in college full time) so that I was still near to them. I put all of my faith in God for His provision. I value the closeness and am willing to sacrifice what I need to sacrifice for it.
Waiting at the Feet of Jesus Part II
February 25, 2011
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28
My intention was not to wait this long before posting another blog; however, such revelation has taken place this month in regards to my relationship with Christ. I was reminded yesterday that my last blog post was quite some time ago, and the subject matter was Waiting at the Feet of Jesus. I find it simply amazing that when God starts stirring something inside of me that He quickly equips me with the tools and knowledge to gain deeper understanding. This month, I have been in total awe of God and have been falling in love with Him more than I ever have before.
My intention was not to wait this long before posting another blog; however, such revelation has taken place this month in regards to my relationship with Christ. I was reminded yesterday that my last blog post was quite some time ago, and the subject matter was Waiting at the Feet of Jesus. I find it simply amazing that when God starts stirring something inside of me that He quickly equips me with the tools and knowledge to gain deeper understanding. This month, I have been in total awe of God and have been falling in love with Him more than I ever have before.
Waiting at the Feet of Jesus
February 2, 2011
It seems like forever since I have sat in this chair and my fingers have pressed the keys of this keyboard in an effort to try and put words to everything that God is stirring inside of me. I have been asking for a deeper revelation of what it means to “wait at the feet of Jesus.” God showed me something this morning that I couldn’t wait to share.
Sean and I are at a pretty important crossroad in our life: determining where Sean should go to law school. The processes haven’t been finished; therefore, he hasn’t received any official offers, but we both know that the time is coming soon. Our deepest desire is to go where God would have us to go. But how do he know exactly, for sure, without a doubt that we are going where He wants us to go and making the very best possible decision???
I was in the shower this morning (just about the only alone time that I get alone with 3 kids) and was talking and singing to God. I ended up face down in the shower asking God for direction. Thoughts of waiting at the feet of Jesus began to float around my head, and I started to ponder that. Then as vividly as if I was literally back in the days of children’s ministry, God brought to my remembrance a little boy named Darian.
January of 2005, I had accepted the role of Children’s Director at a small church in McKinney. It was my first official role in ministry, and I was excited! The church had been looking and praying for someone to fill this role for quite some time. I had absolutely no desire to do it until I very clearly felt God tell me at a funeral in North Carolina that I was suppose to take the position. After we got back to Texas, I didn’t say anything for a few months because I wanted to make sure that it was what I was suppose to do. After much prayer and thought, I felt the timing was right. I grew up in a Baptist church and learned a wealth of information about the Bible; however, I was never really taught that there was so much more to being a Christian than just knowing bible stories and obeying God’s laws. My desire was for these children to KNOW that God was a God that wanted to interact with them on a daily basis. I wanted them to walk daily in the power of God. I was told about an incredible church in Kansas City called The International House of Prayer by the mother of one of the children.
The McKinney Church paid for me to attend the Children’s Summit that they were offering and off to Kansas City I went. I was amazed the entire time that I was there! These children where healing the sick and prophesying in the name of Jesus. They were intimately and passionately worshipping Jesus with instruments, their hands raised, on their knees, and even some flat on their face. I was fascinated! Most kids that I had seen in children’s church had a hard time even listening to a bible story. The difference? The kids weren’t just read bible stories in Sunday School; they were being introduced to the person of Jesus and their lives were being radically changed. The outpouring of this encounter was genuine worship of their King. During the summit, they were very careful not to give us specific “exercises” to do with the kids as (I understand why now although I didn’t at the time) they wanted every interaction to stem from an encounter with Jesus and us seeking Jesus for direction. I and every other person there wanted something tangible to encourage our kids to respond in this manner. Then in one of the sessions the Children’s Director’s wife described an “exercise” in obedience and patiently waiting for the voice of God. Again, I was fascinated and couldn’t wait to get back and try it.
God had told her to take a few envelopes and scatter them around the sanctuary hidden. During service, she was to take a few kids to the door of the sanctuary have them pray for God to reveal to them where an envelope was and then go and get the envelope. She was a bit nervous on several accounts but obeyed. The kids found the envelopes, and she was amazed! I wanted my kids to do this too!
During a Sunday night service, I gathered my kids, about 12 or so, and explained the goal. I didn’t take them into the sanctuary, but did hide an envelop with a scripture inside somewhere in the children’s wing. The children took off. When I said go, it was a mad dash of slamming cabinets and drawers until one kid opened the right drawer and found the envelope. I was a bit disappointed as I knew it wasn’t the result of hearing the voice of God. I decided to try again the next week.
The next week came and I made sure that there was NO WAY that they would accidentally stumble across the envelope. I explained the goal again and really stressed the fact that the only way they were going to find this envelope was by seeking the voice of God for guidance and direction. We set up our main room as a prayer room with worship music. I encouraged them to seek God’s voice and then obey it. I told them that God would guide them. When I released them, it was again a mad dash through the cabinets and drawers, in the closets, and in all the nooks and crannies that they could find. After about an hour, the kids started to get frustrated. I assured them that there really was an envelope hidden. During that hour, Tracey, my helper, and I were amazed at all the “spiritual things” that were going on. There were some kids who were trying to do it in their own strength and find it on their own. There were some kids who grouped together to try and pray together in one of the classrooms, but there were other kids there who were side-tracking them and causing them to become distracted from their assignment. There were some who seemed to get the right idea, but then would lose patience and try something else. It seemed that the hardest thing to get them to do was to pray and just wait for an answer.
We walked back into the prayer room and saw little Darian sitting all alone praying. Now Darian was probably about five and probably the one that we expected the least to find the envelope. He was very boy and, in our opinion, hardly had enough patience to sit in his seat much less wait on the voice of God. That day, he proved us wrong!
Darian stood up and started walking down the hall. We shrugged and decided to follow him wondering if we ought to stop the exercise for the evening as it seemed we were losing some of the kids. Then, Darian told me that he saw some yellow arrows, I didn’t really know what to say, but he seemed very intent so I just told him to follow them. He walked up and down the hall, walked into a room, shook his head, and then walked back out. He walked back up the hall and into the first room. I looked and Tracy and smiled….I knew he had it, and I could hardly contain myself. He was very intentional with everything that he did. He circled the room a few times and I asked him what he was seeing. He said that he was seeing a bunch of colors: beiges and browns. I looked at the poster on the back of the door…the poster that the envelope was stuck behind and saw all the little boys and girls outstretched holding hands each having a different skin color, a variation of beige or brown. I realized that the poster was pretty high and wasn’t in Darian’s line of site. After a few more little clues that he pieced together, he looked straight at the poster and a look of excitement washed over his face. He grabbed a chair, pulled the poster back, and revealed the hidden envelope behind it. It was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!
There were many other life lessons that I learned as result of this experience, but they will have to be saved for another time.
When I wondered about direction in our life and wondered about what it really meant to wait at the feet of Jesus, I was answered by the image of little Darian waiting patiently in the prayer room all by himself. He didn’t leave until He heard the voice of God concerning that which He was seeking. Sometimes, like the other children, we just don’t wait quite long enough to hear that still small voice. Sometimes if we just linger a little bit longer…lean on him just a little more…soak in his presence a little more often, then we are positioned in just the right place to receive what He is trying to get to us. For His desire is for us to walk in complete victory and prosperity AND He is willing to guide us to it, as long as we are willing to listen and receive. Our God is a God of relationship and high on His priority list is intimate interaction with you. He is waiting for you to seek Him and He is eager to respond.
It seems like forever since I have sat in this chair and my fingers have pressed the keys of this keyboard in an effort to try and put words to everything that God is stirring inside of me. I have been asking for a deeper revelation of what it means to “wait at the feet of Jesus.” God showed me something this morning that I couldn’t wait to share.
Sean and I are at a pretty important crossroad in our life: determining where Sean should go to law school. The processes haven’t been finished; therefore, he hasn’t received any official offers, but we both know that the time is coming soon. Our deepest desire is to go where God would have us to go. But how do he know exactly, for sure, without a doubt that we are going where He wants us to go and making the very best possible decision???
I was in the shower this morning (just about the only alone time that I get alone with 3 kids) and was talking and singing to God. I ended up face down in the shower asking God for direction. Thoughts of waiting at the feet of Jesus began to float around my head, and I started to ponder that. Then as vividly as if I was literally back in the days of children’s ministry, God brought to my remembrance a little boy named Darian.
January of 2005, I had accepted the role of Children’s Director at a small church in McKinney. It was my first official role in ministry, and I was excited! The church had been looking and praying for someone to fill this role for quite some time. I had absolutely no desire to do it until I very clearly felt God tell me at a funeral in North Carolina that I was suppose to take the position. After we got back to Texas, I didn’t say anything for a few months because I wanted to make sure that it was what I was suppose to do. After much prayer and thought, I felt the timing was right. I grew up in a Baptist church and learned a wealth of information about the Bible; however, I was never really taught that there was so much more to being a Christian than just knowing bible stories and obeying God’s laws. My desire was for these children to KNOW that God was a God that wanted to interact with them on a daily basis. I wanted them to walk daily in the power of God. I was told about an incredible church in Kansas City called The International House of Prayer by the mother of one of the children.
The McKinney Church paid for me to attend the Children’s Summit that they were offering and off to Kansas City I went. I was amazed the entire time that I was there! These children where healing the sick and prophesying in the name of Jesus. They were intimately and passionately worshipping Jesus with instruments, their hands raised, on their knees, and even some flat on their face. I was fascinated! Most kids that I had seen in children’s church had a hard time even listening to a bible story. The difference? The kids weren’t just read bible stories in Sunday School; they were being introduced to the person of Jesus and their lives were being radically changed. The outpouring of this encounter was genuine worship of their King. During the summit, they were very careful not to give us specific “exercises” to do with the kids as (I understand why now although I didn’t at the time) they wanted every interaction to stem from an encounter with Jesus and us seeking Jesus for direction. I and every other person there wanted something tangible to encourage our kids to respond in this manner. Then in one of the sessions the Children’s Director’s wife described an “exercise” in obedience and patiently waiting for the voice of God. Again, I was fascinated and couldn’t wait to get back and try it.
God had told her to take a few envelopes and scatter them around the sanctuary hidden. During service, she was to take a few kids to the door of the sanctuary have them pray for God to reveal to them where an envelope was and then go and get the envelope. She was a bit nervous on several accounts but obeyed. The kids found the envelopes, and she was amazed! I wanted my kids to do this too!
During a Sunday night service, I gathered my kids, about 12 or so, and explained the goal. I didn’t take them into the sanctuary, but did hide an envelop with a scripture inside somewhere in the children’s wing. The children took off. When I said go, it was a mad dash of slamming cabinets and drawers until one kid opened the right drawer and found the envelope. I was a bit disappointed as I knew it wasn’t the result of hearing the voice of God. I decided to try again the next week.
The next week came and I made sure that there was NO WAY that they would accidentally stumble across the envelope. I explained the goal again and really stressed the fact that the only way they were going to find this envelope was by seeking the voice of God for guidance and direction. We set up our main room as a prayer room with worship music. I encouraged them to seek God’s voice and then obey it. I told them that God would guide them. When I released them, it was again a mad dash through the cabinets and drawers, in the closets, and in all the nooks and crannies that they could find. After about an hour, the kids started to get frustrated. I assured them that there really was an envelope hidden. During that hour, Tracey, my helper, and I were amazed at all the “spiritual things” that were going on. There were some kids who were trying to do it in their own strength and find it on their own. There were some kids who grouped together to try and pray together in one of the classrooms, but there were other kids there who were side-tracking them and causing them to become distracted from their assignment. There were some who seemed to get the right idea, but then would lose patience and try something else. It seemed that the hardest thing to get them to do was to pray and just wait for an answer.
We walked back into the prayer room and saw little Darian sitting all alone praying. Now Darian was probably about five and probably the one that we expected the least to find the envelope. He was very boy and, in our opinion, hardly had enough patience to sit in his seat much less wait on the voice of God. That day, he proved us wrong!
Darian stood up and started walking down the hall. We shrugged and decided to follow him wondering if we ought to stop the exercise for the evening as it seemed we were losing some of the kids. Then, Darian told me that he saw some yellow arrows, I didn’t really know what to say, but he seemed very intent so I just told him to follow them. He walked up and down the hall, walked into a room, shook his head, and then walked back out. He walked back up the hall and into the first room. I looked and Tracy and smiled….I knew he had it, and I could hardly contain myself. He was very intentional with everything that he did. He circled the room a few times and I asked him what he was seeing. He said that he was seeing a bunch of colors: beiges and browns. I looked at the poster on the back of the door…the poster that the envelope was stuck behind and saw all the little boys and girls outstretched holding hands each having a different skin color, a variation of beige or brown. I realized that the poster was pretty high and wasn’t in Darian’s line of site. After a few more little clues that he pieced together, he looked straight at the poster and a look of excitement washed over his face. He grabbed a chair, pulled the poster back, and revealed the hidden envelope behind it. It was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!
There were many other life lessons that I learned as result of this experience, but they will have to be saved for another time.
When I wondered about direction in our life and wondered about what it really meant to wait at the feet of Jesus, I was answered by the image of little Darian waiting patiently in the prayer room all by himself. He didn’t leave until He heard the voice of God concerning that which He was seeking. Sometimes, like the other children, we just don’t wait quite long enough to hear that still small voice. Sometimes if we just linger a little bit longer…lean on him just a little more…soak in his presence a little more often, then we are positioned in just the right place to receive what He is trying to get to us. For His desire is for us to walk in complete victory and prosperity AND He is willing to guide us to it, as long as we are willing to listen and receive. Our God is a God of relationship and high on His priority list is intimate interaction with you. He is waiting for you to seek Him and He is eager to respond.
What Does Success Really Mean, Anyways???
January 18, 2011
Feeling “successful” is something that I have always struggled with. This may be ingrained naturally by birth order. Many first-borns have that inner desire to climb and climb and climb and climb and when you are done climbing…climb some more. There is no time for a break because there is always climbing. Does any of this sound familiar or is it just me?
“Success is peace of mind that is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”
~ Coach John Wooden, Legendary UCLA Basketball Coach
Oh, wait...It's A Girls?!?!
January 16, 2011
I was sitting at church this morning chatting with a lady named Melinda. Melinda and her husband are expecting their first child and haven’t decided if they want to find out the sex of their child yet. We began talking about my first child and experiences, and my mind has been there ever since.
Sean and I had decided that we wanted our first child to be a boy. His reasoning was that he knew boys and knew what to do with them (so he thought at that time), and my reasoning was that I wanted the stereotypical older, protective brother for all of my other children. We prayed hard over our first born child. We stood in faith and on scripture as Matthew 21:22 says, “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” We prayed, and we believed.
I was sitting at church this morning chatting with a lady named Melinda. Melinda and her husband are expecting their first child and haven’t decided if they want to find out the sex of their child yet. We began talking about my first child and experiences, and my mind has been there ever since.
Sean and I had decided that we wanted our first child to be a boy. His reasoning was that he knew boys and knew what to do with them (so he thought at that time), and my reasoning was that I wanted the stereotypical older, protective brother for all of my other children. We prayed hard over our first born child. We stood in faith and on scripture as Matthew 21:22 says, “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” We prayed, and we believed.
Hope for Husbands
January 3, 2011
A huge smile spread across my face this morning and my heart beamed with joy as my husband told me that he was amazed at how much of a difference it made to start your day in the word of God. Actually, his words were that it helped you to “attack your day.” For me, this was a miracle. My husband has never been much of a Bible reader. Actually, up until we started attending our church, Elevate Life Church, he prayed periodically and that was about the extent of it. He believed in God, but there wasn’t much passion or desire beyond that. Sean had always felt condemned in church and felt like he couldn’t live up to the unrealistic standards that were set. He was always under the impression that you had to essentially be perfect in order to be accepted. He even viewed God as condemning and as one who would “strike him with lightening” if he did anything wrong. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that this was the reason for Sean’s lack of desire to be involved in church.
New Year's Reflections
January 1, 2011
Sean and I have been doing a lot of reflecting the past couple of days. I am using this blog sort of like my own personal journal that gives a glimpse of my life to whoever stumbles upon it. Really, it is like you were coming into my bedroom stumbling onto my journal hidden in my nightstand and viewing my most private thoughts and musings. Hence, as I am sure you can tell from past blogs, you are getting a “real” view of our trials, tribulations, and victories. Transparency has brought so much healing into my life. I have learned that what is hidden in darkness can be used to torment and keep you in bondage while what is revealed in the open daylight gives you freedom and forms impactful testimonies.
Sean and I have been doing a lot of reflecting the past couple of days. I am using this blog sort of like my own personal journal that gives a glimpse of my life to whoever stumbles upon it. Really, it is like you were coming into my bedroom stumbling onto my journal hidden in my nightstand and viewing my most private thoughts and musings. Hence, as I am sure you can tell from past blogs, you are getting a “real” view of our trials, tribulations, and victories. Transparency has brought so much healing into my life. I have learned that what is hidden in darkness can be used to torment and keep you in bondage while what is revealed in the open daylight gives you freedom and forms impactful testimonies.
Clothed More Beautiful than a Lily
December 28, 2010
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
“So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?’ or `What shall we drink?’ or `What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:25-34
On the Edge of a Cliff
December 28, 2010
December 24, 2010…two and a half weeks until foreclosure.
We knew the timing was right for us to list our house back in April. We knew that God was changing the direction and course of our lives. However, that required us to list our house in one of the worst real estate markets ever. Not only was the economy bad for real estate, our property was on 23 acres out in the middle of nowhere. There wasn’t even really a house on it. We had lived in a mobile home that was, well, trying to hold on for dear life. Our intention when we bought the property was to build; however, not too long after we bought the property, the economy started turning and our dreams of building on the property just seemed to get more and more difficult. The land was gorgeous! In the midst of Texas corn fields, we had found a beautiful piece of property with rolling hills, thick trees, and a beautiful creek cutting right through the center of the property. It already had horse pens, sheds, dog kennels…yes, the buildings would need some work, but I am a person of vision and could see much potential with the place. As the years passed and were busy with life and 3 kids, economy changed, and finally, life’s course changed. It was time to sell. However, it was going to take just the right buyer for our type of property.
We knew the timing was right for us to list our house back in April. We knew that God was changing the direction and course of our lives. However, that required us to list our house in one of the worst real estate markets ever. Not only was the economy bad for real estate, our property was on 23 acres out in the middle of nowhere. There wasn’t even really a house on it. We had lived in a mobile home that was, well, trying to hold on for dear life. Our intention when we bought the property was to build; however, not too long after we bought the property, the economy started turning and our dreams of building on the property just seemed to get more and more difficult. The land was gorgeous! In the midst of Texas corn fields, we had found a beautiful piece of property with rolling hills, thick trees, and a beautiful creek cutting right through the center of the property. It already had horse pens, sheds, dog kennels…yes, the buildings would need some work, but I am a person of vision and could see much potential with the place. As the years passed and were busy with life and 3 kids, economy changed, and finally, life’s course changed. It was time to sell. However, it was going to take just the right buyer for our type of property.
Our Christmas Blessing
December 16, 2010
I am totally amazed by God this morning. I have always believed that He could work and do the impossible weaving situations and multiplying seeds sown, but this week, we have experienced it fully. If you have read my other blog postings, then you know a little bit about the situation of our family. We have no consistent income. Our only reliable income is through Advocare but that can vary each paycheck as we are working to build a sustainable income. Really at this time in our life, our income comes from where ever God sends it.
Thoughts on Family...
December 13, 2010
The past few days I have found myself really reflecting on the ways that we are raising our children. I have been seeking more non-mainstream ways of raising our children I think more so because I am desiring more non-mainstream results in the dynamics of our family and outcomes of our children. I want something more than what is typically perceived possible. I want to enjoy every minute with my husband and children instead of watching the clock and counting down the hours until bedtime or counting the years until graduation so that we can “have our life back.”
The past few days I have found myself really reflecting on the ways that we are raising our children. I have been seeking more non-mainstream ways of raising our children I think more so because I am desiring more non-mainstream results in the dynamics of our family and outcomes of our children. I want something more than what is typically perceived possible. I want to enjoy every minute with my husband and children instead of watching the clock and counting down the hours until bedtime or counting the years until graduation so that we can “have our life back.”
Bumper Pads
December 9, 2010
This post is a little revealing of myself, but I prefer honesty in sharing because that is really how we can learn and grow with ourselves and in listening to others. The last couple of months has been a major transition for my family. We left an area were I had built my dream so that my husband could follow the dream that God put inside of him. The two couldn’t be done together. I had a willing heart but sometimes the details can be a little scary with essentially no money.
Our prayer has been every day for as long as I can remember that God would fill us full of wisdom and knowledge and understanding that he would keep us on His straight and narrow path that He would draw us close to Him and soften our hearts towards Him. When praying for God to move in an area in which you don’t necessarily see tangible results as in “God please pay off my house,” you sometimes don’t realize that He is answering those prayers until you wake up and look back over your life.
Our prayer has been every day for as long as I can remember that God would fill us full of wisdom and knowledge and understanding that he would keep us on His straight and narrow path that He would draw us close to Him and soften our hearts towards Him. When praying for God to move in an area in which you don’t necessarily see tangible results as in “God please pay off my house,” you sometimes don’t realize that He is answering those prayers until you wake up and look back over your life.
Growing in Wisdom, Stature, and Favor
December 1, 2010
As I was preparing for my Bible lesson with my children this morning (we are studying the life of Jesus this month), I was reading through the story of “The Boy Jesus at the Temple.” (Luke 2:41-52) It amazes me that even Jesus, the Son of God, who was here at the creation of the earth, still must linger at the temple and learn….just like we do. Verse 46 says, “After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.” I think that often times we think that Jesus came down and just “knew” everything and just was everything that He was during His time of ministry. Jesus went through everything that we have to go through the only difference was that He did not let sin creep into His life. Jesus pressed in to God continually even as a young boy. He knew His purpose and calling (because He was connected to God) and prepared for that calling until it was time to fullfill that calling. I love verse 52. It says, “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” Just like with Jesus, we, too, have to grow in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man. How did Jesus do it? By getting as much of God as he could. He was continually in relationship with God…continually praying and aligning Himself with the will of God.
Still unsure of the calling in your life? I challenge you to press in to God…study His word, be in relationship with Him, find out his passions, will and desires and in the process, He will unfold your passions and purpose to you.
As I was preparing for my Bible lesson with my children this morning (we are studying the life of Jesus this month), I was reading through the story of “The Boy Jesus at the Temple.” (Luke 2:41-52) It amazes me that even Jesus, the Son of God, who was here at the creation of the earth, still must linger at the temple and learn….just like we do. Verse 46 says, “After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.” I think that often times we think that Jesus came down and just “knew” everything and just was everything that He was during His time of ministry. Jesus went through everything that we have to go through the only difference was that He did not let sin creep into His life. Jesus pressed in to God continually even as a young boy. He knew His purpose and calling (because He was connected to God) and prepared for that calling until it was time to fullfill that calling. I love verse 52. It says, “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” Just like with Jesus, we, too, have to grow in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man. How did Jesus do it? By getting as much of God as he could. He was continually in relationship with God…continually praying and aligning Himself with the will of God.
Still unsure of the calling in your life? I challenge you to press in to God…study His word, be in relationship with Him, find out his passions, will and desires and in the process, He will unfold your passions and purpose to you.
Our Promise
November 24, 2010
My husband and I have been going through a process that is going to completely change the course of our lives. Processes, we have learned, can be like birthing processes. In the midst of it, you are yelling for it to stop. Sometimes the pain can seem like it is too much to bear, but as I know from my natural birthing experiences, if you can only keep your eye on the prize then it gives you hope that, in what seems like your hour of darkness, there is a light…a gift…that is waiting for you on the other side. Paul says in Philippians 4:13-14, ”I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me…” God is reprogramming a lot of our thinking, and I believe that in this time in our country the same is happening for many of you.
My husband and I have been going through a process that is going to completely change the course of our lives. Processes, we have learned, can be like birthing processes. In the midst of it, you are yelling for it to stop. Sometimes the pain can seem like it is too much to bear, but as I know from my natural birthing experiences, if you can only keep your eye on the prize then it gives you hope that, in what seems like your hour of darkness, there is a light…a gift…that is waiting for you on the other side. Paul says in Philippians 4:13-14, ”I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me…” God is reprogramming a lot of our thinking, and I believe that in this time in our country the same is happening for many of you.
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