The past few days I have found myself really reflecting on the ways that we are raising our children. I have been seeking more non-mainstream ways of raising our children I think more so because I am desiring more non-mainstream results in the dynamics of our family and outcomes of our children. I want something more than what is typically perceived possible. I want to enjoy every minute with my husband and children instead of watching the clock and counting down the hours until bedtime or counting the years until graduation so that we can “have our life back.”



When my oldest daughter Isabelle started approaching kindergarten, the thought of sending her away 5 days a week to full time school at the tender age of 5 broke my heart. God had already been stirring the idea in my heart of starting a private school, and we progressed. It was wonderful for our family and had its purpose in our lives and in the community. When our season was done and we had moved away, God started stirring inside of me something deeper for our family. Before, we lived on the surface. Even though I was around my children more through the private school, the quality was really missing. I was so consumed by the “doing” of the school and making sure that all the loose ends were tied up that I was really missing depth with my family. We decided to homeschool this year for many reasons but one of the most important was for the closeness that I knew it would breed within our family.

We have had many bumps along the way, and I am sure that we will have more as I retrain my thought processes. I approached homeschooling at first the same way that I had always known school. We sat down to do a lesson, and they were assessed with worksheets for understanding (more so that I could make sure they were mastering objectives…I didn’t want them falling behind). Victoria flew through them already knowing most of the material and getting a thrill in seeing how fast she could finish them. Through most of the sheets, she didn’t even need an explanation. Isabelle, my oldest and in 3rd grade, sat frustrated and uninspired. It wasn’t that she couldn’t do the work; she just flat out didn’t want to do it. She would do ok if I was right next to her or if I threatened discipline, but independent work was out of the question or a miserable day was ahead of us. I was so frustrated because I just wanted her to get the work done. However, I started noticing that if she was able to use her creativity then she would spend hours on an assignment far beyond my having left the table.

I also had concerns for Victoria, my first grader. Even though I currently had no protests from her, I knew it wouldn’t last. The thrill of flying through worksheets at warp speed would wear off in a matter of time and then where would we be?  I spent several months being delighted with Victoria because she was just doing it with no complaints or resistant and frustrated with Isabelle for complaints and resistance. However, I am so thankful now for Isabelle’s resistance because it has forced me to change my thinking and approaches which will ultimately result in such a greater love for learning. I have recently been introduced to the world of notebooking. We have a science curriculum that uses notebooking as the primary source of learning. It is through Apologia. I love it and the kids love it, but all the other subjects were boring and uninspired. I read on my friend Deann Atwood’s website www.deannwrites.com her philosophy on home schooling: “Wanna know a secret?! None of my kids go to school. “Duh,” you say, “y’all homeschool.” Well, sorta. That’s what I tell people anyway. But in reality, our “school” isn’t really a school at all – rather, it’s merely an extension of our family culture. We aren’t technically homeschoolers…we are a family that lives, loves & learns together.”

After reading this, I really got to thinking about the way that I was approaching schooling my kids and how that would impact them. Was plopping down worksheets and moving them through curriculum that just skims the surface of topics really teaching my children anything? Yes, I can tell and measure if they are on “target” but what does that really mean and matter if it is not enjoyable for everyone and causes dissention and fighting within the family. We were out driving one day, and Sean made mention that it was Pearl Harbor Day. He loves history and knows a lot about different people and events. My children were asking all sorts of questions as their curiosity had peaked. I sat back and listened to what was going on and was amazed at how much the girls were learning through this discussion. Again, it was proof to me that learning didn’t have to be sitting at table. That is an obvious and simple example, but I began to notice all the different ways around me in which our children were learning just merely by being around us all day. I became a lot more aware of making teachable moments out of every situation instead of just sticking to my checklist for the day.

We are still in the very beginning phases of trying to “figure it all out.” I will keep you updated on what is working and what doesn’t work for our family. I am determined to live an intentional life of loving, learning creatively, and serving others. It may seem odd to include love and serving others in the line up…why wasn’t that taking place before? With the focus on just trying to get everything done, it leaves very little time for the things that really matter. I have also learned to be more thankful and aware of resistance…it is a marker that something is not right.